Adopting you was one of the best things I ever did. I remember when they sent your picture and I really didn't want to adopt you - I just didn't think I wanted one right then & you sure was a raggedy looking thing. But I felt sorry for you & I finally said OK- send him. You barked all the way home from where I picked you up & I thought oh dear what did I do?

Well it didn't take you long to take over my heart. You managed to do that almost immediately and I called you Winnie the poo. Decorated your room(and everyone elses) all in Poo Bear. You reminded me so much of my Mischif. Personality & all. And helped me cope with his death after 4 years. No you didn't take his place but you sure helped me remember the good times.

I knew you had health problems & I was going to be sure we took good care of you. If you sneezed you were at the vets. For being blind you adjusted really quick & could even go out & come in all on your own.

I took you to the rally at the capital to pass the bill to help other puppymill babies like yourself. You found you a girlfriend there. You looked so cute together

Then you went to awareness day and got a prize ribbon. Lots of people stopped to see you. You were my special little boy and I took you everywhere.

Then last year the vet insisted on doing your teeth as they were so bad & I didn't want to but he said they were infected & it had to be so I took the chance. You came through & had 7 teeth pulled. Three days later I brought you home & you started with grand mal seizures. They lasted 1/2 hour or longer & I went crazy as I never saw a seizure. I called the vet and at midnight in my nightgown I was on my way there. That's when she said it was a seizure & what to do.

The day I brought Precious home (after she passed) I walked in the door & you were having a bad one. I dropped everything & took you out to the vets & he insisted on keeping you as you were still in bad shape. I worried for 4 days till you came home. He put you on phenobarbatrol & you really had problems with it. Anxiety attacks all the time but he wouldn't take you off as he said you wouldn't make it. So I got some holistic stuff & it didn't help. I tried everything and finally cut your meds back & ask him to add Potassium Bromide. That's when you started losing the use of your back legs. and slept alot. You still had attacks of anxiety but not as bad. I spent from Sept till the day you died with you constantly as you had problems sitting up & was always barking and wanting a drink. Lost bladder control so I got diapers for you. I tried everything I could to help you. Got you a playpen to be in during the day so you wouldn't hurt yourself. Then finally I got you a wheelchair. You were starting to do really good & seemed happy to get around some. I bought you hagg dazz ice cream as it helped cool you down and you liked it.

Then the night before you started to pant & breath bad. I kept washing you down with cool cloths & gave you a couple bites of ice cream. You went to sleep & slept all night which scared me in the morning as you always woke up for me to change you at night. I jumped out of bed & you were fine. I gave you breakfast & you ate real good but wouldn't take any water which was rare. Then I took you out in your chair & you did your thing & I thought you were OK but I looked & your front feet were dragging. I took you in & you started the breathing problems again. I grabbed the wet cloths & the ice cream. I gave you a bite & your spit it out & I gave it to you again & you took it. Then I said take another honey you will feel better. You did And THEN- you stopped breathing. And I lost it. I screamed & said Breath Winnie Breath & shook you & nothing & I grabbed my coat & you and jumped in thr car & went to the vets. They weren't open yet but he was there and I couldn't even tell him why I was there for crying. He said to go down to the room & he came in & checked you & said he's gone. I screamed & said No check him again - maybe its a coma & he did & said it again & I begged him to check you again. I knew I just didn't want to face it. He tried to calm me down but I don't remember leaving or coming home. I sat in the rocking chair for an hour & talked to you. Finally I gave you last rights & blessed you into Heaven and called Golden Lakes to come and get you for cremation. For two days I couldn't go to work and just walked around like a zombie & cried. I couldn't call anyone or email. It was one of the most horrible days I can remember. I still am having alot of trouble with it & keep thinking you are coming home & I know you're not. I miss you so much. You were my world & my life.

But I know you are healthy & happy in Heaven and much better off but it don't stop my tears. I loved you so much Poo Bear.

I just hope you knew how much I loved you.

There will never be another one in my heart like you. I knew one day you would pass as you were old & had many problems from the mill but I didn't expect it this soon.

14 years in a rotten mill & I only got 2 and 1/2 years to love you.

My only regret is I didn't get my puppy kiss I kept asking you for.

I will love you forever sweetie. And not a day goes by I don't think of you and say if only....

Play in the fields of green and say Hello to my babies and watch as one day I will be there to love you again.

All my love Sweetie

Mommie

So this is where we part, My Friend,
and you'll run on, around the bend,
gone from sight, but not from mind,
new pleasures there you'll surely find.

I will go on, I'll find the strength,
life measures quality, not its length.
One long embrace before you leave,
share one last look, before I grieve.

There are others, that much is true,
but they be they, and they aren't you.
And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought,
will remember well all you've taught.

Your place I'll hold, you will be missed,
the fur I stroked, the nose I kissed.
And as you journey to your final rest,
take with you this...I loved you best.

Copyright © 2002 by Jim Willis

I have started a poem for him but I cannot get it finished yet

Will add it later