Panda

Panda Sue
You were my little panda bear. When you were born you
looked like a little panda bear. You had the cutest pink nose.
I loved to pick you up & would kiss that little pink nose and
you would always bite mine. You didn't like to be cuddled.
I made up my mind you would learn to be loving as you were
 so sweet & hugable I couldn't stop from trying to snuggle you.
It took a while but finally you gave in & became a very loving 
and snuggly pup. You had the longest tongue I ever saw
When someone would pick you up, you would lick their face
before they got to close. I guess you figured if you couldn't
bite their nose you would lick it.
When I left Texas a friend of mine adopted your brother
and she wanted you so bad. You sat on my lap and hugged me so
 tight & looked at me to say -"Please don't give me away."
So I kept you and I am so glad I did, as your were the
most loving of all my babies. When I would be sad you would
be there to lick my face and say, "It's OK Mommie, I love you."
You were such a joy in my life - and funny as you wanted to play
like Mischif and you just couldn't get the hang of it. But you tried.
You would run after a toy and then just stand there as much as 
to say, "OK now what??" I would laugh and try to show you.
Chifie was your buddy. You two were always together and
when he left us 3 mo ago, you were lost. You followed me all over.
If I went to the table from the sink you would jump up & follow.
Under my feet. I would tell you stay there I am right here.
I didn't realize you were sick when I was losing Chif. I knew
someone was having accidents but I couldn't catch them & being
that Chifie was so sick I thought it was him.
After I lost him I realized it was you. And then I noticed
Pink in it & I knew it was blood. I took you to the doctor
and he put you an antibiotics for bladder infection.
After 2 weeks it didn't help so he did an x-ray and it didn't 
tell us much, so he put you on a couple medicines and that
didn't help. Several weeks ago He ran all kinds of tests on you.
X-rays- blood & urine. Sent them out & got the results back
after several days. Kidneys were fine and it did not show 
cancer cells. But the X-ray showed a spot on your bladder.
He told me I had to decide on ultra sound or exploratory
surgery. Put you on some medication and said take a week or
so to decide. Within  4 days you started to bleed. Just a little
at first and it was pink. I called & said if you were no better
over the weekend I would bring you in. By Sunday you
were leaving red spots when you went on the floor. I walked
around with a mop in my hands & you would hang your
little head & I would tell you it was OK as I knew you
didn't mean for it to happen. I would pick you up & hug you and
 give you a kiss on your little nose.
On Monday I took you out & he said he was sure it was a 
tumor & I could put you down or do the surgery. At 17 yrs 
and with a heart murmur it was risky but I wanted to
give you a last chance. He was going to take out the tumor
and hope you would be ok. I kissed you & told you I loved you
and that I would be back. That was the last time I saw your
loving eyes. 
That afternoon he called to tell me he couldn't take the tumor out.
You had massive little ones all over inside your bladder and it
was cancer. He offered to sew you up and let me come out
to say goodbye. He knows I want to hold my babies when 
they go to the Bridge. But I knew you would be in pain
when you woke up and I could not put you through that agony.
I said No- just put her on down & I will be out to get her.
I don't remember getting there as the tears were blinding me.
I must have had an Angel driving as I don't remember the trip out.
I didn't get to hold you and say I loved you when you left.
That will hurt me forever, but I think I did what was
best for you.
Your ashes are now beside your Mischif and an Angel there
 to watch you. 
I know you are happy and healthy up in Heaven. You are with
your Mom and Dad and Brothers & Sisters. 
I will miss you my Precious baby and will always love you.
You held a special place in my heart,
But-
God needed another Angel and He chose you!